Happy Mother’s Day tomorrow! At least, I hope it is for you. This year I’m reflecting a little bit on how Mother’s Day can be a difficult day for some. As a minister, I’ve come across a number of people like the following examples.
There are those whose mother has passed away, maybe recently, maybe long ago. My own mother, who is thankfully still alive and well, just lost her mother a couple of months ago from dementia accompanied by a stroke.
My mother has been cancer free now for almost 20 years, but I have friends and family whose mothers have died after long and bitter struggles with cancer and other diseases. For some this holiday is an annual re-pulling off the scab.
I am blessed to have fond memories with my mother. But there are those who for a number of reasons do not, and this holiday is a painful reminder of that.
Some have had their children taken from them, and they long to touch and hold them again. This holiday only heightens that emptiness that never resolves and the joy that never comes.
Some never even knew their mother, and this holiday seems somewhat hollow and bitter for them.
Some mothers cannot celebrate or be celebrated because of military deployment or other circumstances. Life happens, and often it just doesn’t care about keeping families close.
Some mothers have no one to honor them because they live alone–widowed, divorced, or abandoned.
Some are alone and abandoned in a nursing home somewhere. They might get a nice word from the caregiving staff.
Some mothers have lost a child, so this holiday is another bitter pill to swallow, reminding them of the motherhood that can no longer be.
Other women want to be mothers but can’t, perhaps even after numerous attempts. They put on a happy face for all the other mothers while hiding their own envy and pain behind a yearning smile, wondering if they’ll ever be more than a fur baby mama.
On the flip side of that coin, some mothers’ pregnancies were terminated, either by choice or by condition, and this holiday summons up all the difficult might-have-beens.
Some are single mothers trying to figure it all out on their own. Maybe they live with ridicule and shame where they need love and help.
I sometimes even think of Jesus’ mother Mary, so young, gone for three months to Elizabeth’s and comes home showing pregnant without an explanation anyone can accept. I can only imagine how hard that was for her.
Maybe you have other reasons why this day is a difficult one. Or maybe it’s the best day of the year for you. You might think to encourage those who struggle. Either way, know that you are not alone. You are special and beautiful and precious. The desire and effort to be a mother is very noble and one of the highest callings a woman can have. I wish you all the very best!
I’ll close with a statement by my wife a year ago. Before me she had never been married, and the only human kids she’s ever raised belonged (so far) to other people, including mine from a previous marriage.
Mother’s Day is a special day designed to honor everyone who is or has been a mother. For some, you get to watch your children grow up and become adults you’re proud of. For others, you live with the heartache of never getting that luxury. Either way, this day is for you. If you’ve ever mothered a child, your own or otherwise, this day is for you. If you are a pet parent, this day is for you (don’t care what anyone thinks about that). If you’re a parent to bonus children, this day is for you. In my own life, I have the most wonderful mom that God could have ever gifted me, Kana Lozano . I have a mother-in-love I could have only dreamed of. I have aunts who helped raise me, sisters who love me and so many other influential people. I love you all and am so thankful for all the ways you hand touched and blessed my life. I also have the most beautiful bonus kids that I’m lucky my husband gave me to love. Let’s not forget #FrankieCat #GracieDog #FletcherDoggie #JoyCat and #OscarCat. I count my blessings today and they are many… Most are in the form of hearts shaped like the ones I love. Happy Mother’s Day!!
Please share your experiences in the comments below!