You know that awkward moment when you see somebody you used to be good friends with, but now you’re not? And you’re wondering if you should say something to them or act like you didn’t see them, or just wave and go on about your business? Don’t you just hate that? Yeah, that happened to me today at the grocery store. I had just paid out and was leaving with my bags in hand, when I noticed that coming in was a lady I’ve known for years but haven’t seen for awhile. She’s kind of been an indirect victim in some of the divorce drama in my life. Now, I will say that I usually try at least to acknowledge people when I see them. I mean, it is kinda rude and even childish to pretend you don’t see them…um, right? So, now, what to do? What to do?

The same thing actually happened to me not too long ago at the drugstore, too. I was waiting to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy, when suddenly the gal paying out ahead of me turned around, and I saw it was another friend of mine kinda caught in the fallout of my divorce–not so much a close friend, but close enough for it to be an awkward encounter. And probably more so for her, not wanting to take sides or get involved, but not knowing just how close to remain to any of us. For a brief moment our eyes met, neither of us knowing quite what to say or do. We both knew that what was happening in my life had nothing to do with hers. But then she had actually just gotten married not long before. So, this was all just…awkward. I mean, you don’t really want to get into,

“Hey, how’s your married life?”

“Great! How’s your divorced life?”

Yeah. Awkward. But we both smiled and said “hi” almost simultaneously, maybe with a little sigh of relief as tension broke, and she left. That time we both kinda had an out, since she had already paid and was leaving anyway. That doesn’t always happen, though.

Life events, as they’re officially called on your tax form, can sometimes create some uncomfortable situations, even good ones, but often bad ones. Sometimes things happen that you can’t control but still have to deal with, and they affect other people whether you like it or not. Sometimes it’s pretty humorous how we try to tap dance around it, too, like no one will notice if we just don’t say anything. Sure, there are times when it’s not convenient to talk about it at that moment. But we’re not fooling anybody. It’s not gonna just go away if we ignore it or pretend nothing happened. Why do we do that? I mean, especially with people we’re supposed to be close to, people we supposedly trust, people who are…friends, or even family! Maybe there are specifics we can’t agree on, but sometimes we’re just searching for a smile, a word, a sign of some sort that we still have some value in life as a human being even when bad things happen. You know, when our world shatters, we get shaken to the very foundations of our security. We can begin to doubt the stability of everything we’ve ever known, especially people and relationships. But it’s that striking, awkward moment when you have a choice to make. Do you really wanna get into it right then and there? Do you dare try to reconnect, not knowing if they even want to, or how they might respond, if at all? So many things race through your mind with only a fraction of a second to decide.

Let me throw in a quick aside here. Have you ever read “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost? It’s actually one of my favorite poems. I still get chills every time I think of those last few famous lines:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Now, if you read the entire poem, you find that it’s not so much the path itself that is less traveled, as both paths are actually worn. Rather, it’s that he chooses to do what he doesn’t normally do, and that made all the difference. When you have a difficult choice to make, maybe it’s time you do what you don’t normally do and see the difference it can make. Maybe it’s you that needs to change.

As for me today, by the time I saw who the lady was, we had already almost passed each other by. But I did have enough time to notice her eyes were on me at first and then quickly looked away. I was sad that she felt uncomfortable even to say “hi” to me in passing, but I do understand. I think I’ll send her a card, just to let her know that I’m thinking of her and that the door is still open. 😉